I remember looking up from the cold glass of beer I was drinking, to see a friend staring at me. She knew how far down I had fallen, and watched me almost like watching a movie you can’t turn off. I was angry of course. I wanted to go back to my misery and drink in peace, but for a moment I saw myself through her eyes. The amazing thing is how deceived drunks are. While we drink, we see ourselves as sexy and lovely, like we were before we stared drinking. The truth is – the more we drink the uglier we get. Just for a minute I saw my dark eyes, black from the running mascara….The hair messed up from me constantly running my hands though it. The dishevelled clothes, ruffled by the many trips to the bathroom and for many, the distinct odour of vomit…Its not a pretty picture!
The memories of those days help to remind me of the distance the Lord had to reach down to find me. This is a Saturday morning and Im still amazed that Im not running to the bar. I’m so amazed that He cared enough to find a wretch like me and love me to a better place. He has loved me so much, I never want to leave Him, I never want to disappoint him. It’s not fear of hell. It is a deep appreciation for the mercy he died to give me. How many people would go that far for you? Who else can love us without reservation? I did not deserve it but He did it anyway!
Because of a divine love – that plucked me out of the fire – I am free of my past today!
